I wrote this post on Salt & Nectar in 2011 when I was pregnant with Amos. As Nicholas and I consider expanding our family once again, I realized some of these anxieties are resurfacing. Even with one more child "under my belt," I still worry that next time I will encounter something I just can't handle... 

It all started with the kicking.

I remember Griffin kicking. But it was the cute, surprising “Everyone come quick!” kind of kicking. Amos - not so much. His kicking is constant and strong and keeps me up at night. His kicking seems more like he’s trying to escape...through my belly button.

My friend is gone.

After months of maybe - of hopes - of perhaps, the final answer is no. No, she will not recover. No, she will not wake up. No, she is not coming back.

There are a lot of blog posts out there angrily dismissing unsolicited parenting advice.

This is not one of those posts.

It might sound strange but I welcome uninvited parenting advice. “No one knows my child better than me.” Or “I’m going to raise my child the way I see fit” are not really sentences that exist in my vocabulary.

One of my favorite people (and bloggers) Meagan Francis recently wrote a post defending the simple pleasures of summer and explaining why a summer list isn’t the right fit for her family.

But when you think about it, summer break is really pretty short. Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to fill so little time with so much activity?... a neatly checked-off “summer bucket list” isn’t a requirement of being a good mom.

On the one hand, I agree. Of course, one doesn’t need a summer list to have a season filled with sunshine and happy memories.

However...

I have a summer list and I love it.

Most mornings my boys play together in their room for an hour and a half to two hours. After we have breakfast, I send them back to play and I have one to two blissful hours to get things done.

Now, Griffin and Amos are only four and two. I still get the occasional question or request BUT, for the most part, I can depend on that time to get work done or projects completed around the house.

How do I do it?

The answer is so simple it’s going to shock you.

In the lat 1960's, psychologist Walter Mischel led several experiments on delayed gratification involving four year olds and a bunch of marshmallows. The premise is simple and I explain at the beginning of the video.

The characteristic these experiments test - basically self-control - has been to be a fundamental predictor of success in life.