"How's the campaign going?"
It's the question I get most often. It's also the question I'm never quite sure how to answer.
Good? ... Great! ... Your guess is as good as mine. ... We'll see May 17th!
The truth - I suppose - all depends on what you're measuring.
This weekend we hosted a Winter ONE-derland party in honor of Felix's first birthday. Considering this child was born during a snow, it seemed like an appropriate theme. Well, the weather had other plans and it was 70 and sunny! I could have hosted the dang party outside!
For my 30th birthday, I created a list of 30 things I wanted to do. One was to write a historical fiction short story. This is the story and as Ruby keeps calling to me here lately. I thought I'd share it here.
One of Nicholas's New Year's resolutions was to try freezer meals. He'd prepped meals for the week on and off through 2015 and wanted to see how it would work to prepare an entire month's worth. Then, we could just pull a meal from the deep freeze, throw it in the crockpot, and on a busy day dinner would be waiting for us.
Last week, as I stood on elementary school lawn enjoying the Back to School Night picnic, I was chatting up another mother, who also happens to be a dear friend, about our kids. We were talking the hilarious things kids say - some of them funny funny and some them embarrassing funny.
I was telling her all about Amos explaining “tongue lick kissing” to me the week before.
When word of the Apple Watch first started to spread, it barely made a blip on my radar. I’m not opposed to wearable technology, but – at the time – I still had my Fitbit so I didn’t really see the point.
Then, my friend Jessica got an Apple Watch. This is the same Jessica who changed Christmas forever so I tend to listen when she speaks.
Y’all, she used the word “life-changing.”
This post originally appeared on Salt + Nectar, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately as I tackle the same decisions with baby #3!
Cloth v. Disposable, Breast v. Formula, Co-sleeping v. Ferberizing...
These are the debates that keep us judging, keep us feeling guilty, keep us up at night.
I remember reading and researching all these issues while I was pregnant with Griffin. I just knew it was imperative that I pick a side. It felt like sorority rush, once I revealed what jersey I had on there was no going back.
If I was going to breastfeed, I was going to breastfeed. Nothing but the breast for the first year as recommended by the World Health Organization! If I was going to use cloth diapers, then I better decide which brand was best and stock up so I'd never be caught without clean diapers.
If I was going to co-sleep, then I pictured my snuggly little baby curled up next to me for the foreseeable future.
Until I realized, I could do both...or neither...or whatever worked best for me that day.
Recently, a dear friend asked for my advice about a parenting dilemma. Not the Mommy Wars, this is what I’m going to call the Mommy Race (although dads are just as guilty!). It’s that moment every parent has when they feel compelled to engage in a sort of baby one-upmanship. Particularly prominent with first-time parents, an honest pride in baby’s newest milestone suddenly morphs into something a little less pure.
Y’all. I’m falling so hard for this baby.
Even with the middle-of-the-night feedings, I’m still completely enamored with him. I’ve always loved my babies when they reach this age.
Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE newborns, but it’s mostly because they are so soft and cuddly and sleepy. However, then the newness sort of wears off and you’re stuck with this completely dependent being who is just trying to figure out how to be a human and more than a little bit frustrated by the task.
Then, the skies clear.
They start sitting up and LAUGHING and eating solid foods and being seeming particularly fond of YOU - the momma.
I just love it, but it’s more than even that.
My journey with Christmas began in 2009. Up until that point, Nicholas and I had always traveled to our family’s and spent the holidays in someone else’s home. When Griffin was born, we spent our first holiday season in our own home and it was wonderful. The next year we traveled to Nicholas’s family for the holidays, which was hard, but we still only had Griffin so the trip itself was easy.
As many of you already know, 2011 was the year that changed everything for our family and how we celebrate the holidays.
Nicholas lost his job in mid-November and we decided to celebrate Christmas without Consuming. We borrowed a tree. We canceled our Holiday Open House. We gave gifts of time and energy instead of presents.
In many ways, that Christmas was the best thing that ever happened to our family.
This is a guest post by my dear friend Jessica on an exciting co-venture we're launching!
When it comes to parenting, I get quite a big wrong. My kid eats mostly sugary food for breakfast. He asks for dessert after EVERY meal. Last year, I handmade pretty awesome “Camp Ryan” birthday invitations (complete with old maps cut and folded into envelopes) and then forgot to mail them. And recently, I tried teaching him that if you’re smart, you should probably find other ways to express yourself other than using adult words (i.e. profanity); so now whenever he hears a four letter word, he blurts out, “Mom! That person isn’t smart.”
Oh geez.
I realize these aren’t exactly end-of-the-world parenting failures, but they’re not necessarily things I’m proud of or like to publicly acknowledge.
Luckily, there are a handful of things I seem to get right. Planning for a memorable and less stressful holiday season is one of those things. My type-A personality combined with a history of infertility fuels my passion for ensuring we wring every drop of magic and excitement out of Christmas.
While there wasn’t anything specific that happened, I just remember being very frustrated that the joy of the holidays continually lost out to the rush and stress of this busy season. My initial plan was to cut back. For two years, my husband and I didn’t exchange gifts. Then, I didn’t host any holiday meals or get togethers. Maybe we saved some money and a little bit of frustration, but ultimately, cutting out items moved me even further away from any Christmas joy.
A few years into cutting back, nothing seemed familia
Welcome, Beth, who wrote the post I've been meaning to write for WEEKS.
This summer, the internet appears to have caught a case of False Dichotomy-tosis. With every opinion on a major news story comes a flurry of memes, charts, and comments announcing that that’s YOUR WRONG OPINION and this is MY RIGHT ASSERTION OF REALITY and our positions on this topic are mutually exclusive. It seems we need a way to acknowledge that the limited characters in our social media discourse don’t always afford space for a complete expression of thought.
I hate to diagnose a problem without offering a cure, so here’s my proposal: if you’re posting about current events or other controversial topics (or topics that you can’t believe are controversial but trust-me-they-will-be-when-you-expose-them-to-the-scrutiny-of-your-Facebook-friends), just end the post with #Nuance as sort of a modern footnote telling the reader, “I have more to say but I’m out of time, and you’re out of interest. Please don’t make a bunch of weird assumptions based on this post, cool?” I understand that the world really doesn’t need another hashtag, but it seems from scrolling my feeds that we need a short way to introduce some fine print on our tweets and status updates.
For example:
Post: Caitlyn Jenner is brave. #Nuance
#Nuance meaning: My definition of “brave” is expansive, and I see bravery as a broad spectrum of risk-taking worthy of admiration. By calling Ms. Jenner “brave,” I don’t mean to rule out the possibility that there are other brave people in the world or other people who are markedly more brave than she is. I don’t qualify all of my statements on bravery because that seems rude. For example, I wouldn’t say to a friend who just launched a start-up, “hey, that’s brave of you! I mean, obviously not like the bravery of our men and women in uniform or people battling cancer…but I still admire your entrepreneurial spirit.” Or “My Dad is really my hero…he’s not like, Superman or an astronaut or a Navy Seal. But, I still hold him in high esteem.”
Post: Black lives matter. #Nuance
#Nuance meaning: By recognizing the tragedy and existence of institutionalized racism, I don’t mean to discount other lives. Of course, all lives matter—it’s just that we have some serious systemic problems. Also, I think almost all police officers are dedicated public servants and heroes. But a few aren’t, and that hurts everyone, including the excellent police officers.
Post: I’m totally torn up about Cecil the Lion. #Nuance
#Nuance meaning: By expressing my sadness about the senseless death of one of Earth’s most magnificent creatures, I don’t intend to display callousness about anything else, including (but not limited to) other endangered species, abused animals, children, the unborn, individuals living in poverty, dentists who don’t slaughter wild animals, etc. I also don’t intend to express any opinion about (1) the type of hunting that, say, your uncle does, (2) eating meat, or (3) global climate change.
Post: I think Mike Huckabee’s comments on the Iran deal disqualify him from serving as Commander in Chief. #Nuance
#Nuance meaning: I don’t know much about the Iran deal because I haven’t read it, and I bet you haven’t either. I also don’t pretend to understand all of the social, economic, cultural, historic, and religious forces that influence Middle Eastern dynamics. That said, I think the Iran deal is scary, too. What I’ve heard worries me. But I think references to World War II should only be used to talk about what actually happened during World War II. I think speaking only in hyperbole jeopardizes our ability to rationally debate ideas. And I think the leader of the free world ought to be more sensitive and careful than that
Post: Donald Trump shouldn’t be Commander in Chief. #Nuance
#Nuance meaning: I, too, am fed up with the gridlock in Washington and politics as usual. I don’t trust most politicians, and I worry about the state of our government. I think we need leaders who have demonstrated success outside of government to have any chance at reforming government. However, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want a POTUS with some knowledge of foreign affairs (aside from incendiary talking points) and some level of humility.
Post: Hillary Clinton should never have used her private email at work. #Nuance
#Nuance meaning: Yes, I’m a woman. And I would very much like a woman to be president. But, more than that, I value transparent and open government. I would also like our POTUS to be more cognizant of cybersecurity issues and to be willing to be inconvenienced by 50 devices if that’s what it takes to keep our information safe. What’s that? Oh…yes, I would feel the same way if Ms. Clinton were male.
Here’s the thing: we don’t have to stake out these extremes, and doing so is reductive and unworthy of our democracy. Our social media discourse matters, so we should elevate it by asking questions, fleshing out ideas, and, respectfully engaging with each other. If we can’t or won’t do those things, we can at least stop assuming that someone is against everything we believe in based on a single tweet. You can believe in gun control and care about the Second Amendment. You can acknowledge the existence of man-made climate change and God (for that matter, you can even acknowledge global warming on a snowy day). You can be against drug use and pro-legalization. You can pray every night and believe prayer in school is problematic. We can and should examine our positions and allow for depth in both our own perspectives and the perspectives of others. Go forth and tweet, facebook, and blog—just make space for the entirety of the conversation.
Beth is a mom, wife, sister, friend, and HR executive. She's also on a journey to become a yoga teacher. She likes watermelon, reality television, and politics.
This post sparked a discussion between Beth and I ... that turned into an idea... that turned into a podcast - Pantsuit Politics!
