Enneagrams and Strengths Finder: Why I love self-exploration

Y'all. I've fallen down a personality test rabbit hole. 

I'm currently working my way through Tsh Oxenreider's Upstream Field Guide. It's an eight-week self-paced course to help you better understand yourself, unearth more of your purpose, then use your wisdom to make a plan so that your life makes more sense.

I'm REALLY enjoying it. (Side note: The course is currently included as part of this super awesome Ultimate Bundle which is half the price of the course alone.)

As part of the second session, Tsh recommends that you find your Enneagram Type and complete the Strengths Finder Assessment to help you better understand yourself, your values, and what types of actions to take moving forward.

I'm a total junkie for self-growth and self-exploration - obviously since I'm taking this course so I was ALL. IN.

The Enneagram Assessment is a model of human personality which is basically structured around nine interconnected personality types.

I've always been a tad intimidated by it. It seemed overly complex (says the person who loves Myers Briggs) but the actual test was simple and easy.  I'm basically a 1 with 2 wing. That's a fancy way of saying I'm a Perfectionist who leans heavily towards giving. 

One site described it as a Servant-Leader.

Among the liabilities for One-wing-Twos is that they can be perfectionistic, impatient, emotionally constricted, judgmental, inflexible, and intolerant. Furthermore, they can fail to match up to their own high standards in any number of ways.

(Shifts uncomfortably in seat because it's a little too dead-on.)

Also, it's Hillary Clinton's type. 🙌

Apparently, Ones have a big problem with anger and feeling defective. I realized reading so much of this that anger is my go-to emotion much of the time but that - as a woman - I don't feel allowed to feel angry. I'd never really thought about that before, which is why I LOVE personality tests and the self-examination they can prompt.

I also completed the Strengths Finder assessment. (You have to buy the book to get a unique code for the assessment.) Strengths Finder is a little different than a classic personality assessment. The idea is that leaders aren't "well-rounded" but that they play to their strengths instead of fixing their weaknesses. 

What I'm realizing is that as a Type One I'm prone to the idea that I must constantly improve my weaknesses instead of just embracing my strengths.

My Strengths are Input, Intellection, Strategic, Woo, Ideation.

In a nutshell, I love to take in a lot of information. My mind is ALWAYS going. I like to find creative solutions. I can work a room like nobody's business. And I love ideas and making connections.

Because I'm always wanting to "improve" I think for far too long I've beaten myself up for not wanting to focus on one thing, for being turned off by traditional approaches, and loving new ideas and new information.

Finally, I'm beginning to realize through a lot of self-exploration - from personality tests to therapy - that at almost-35 (gulp) I am who I am. I'm not going to work my way into another personality. I'm not going to wake up one day and enjoy having a boss or climbing the ladder at a traditional 9 to 5. 

I CAN wake up every day and be a little better version of myself than I was the night before by embracing my strengths and weaknesses - by working with both instead of fighting who I am.

It might seem silly that an online test can help me understand something as intensely personal but the paradox of personality is that learning how we are like others can help put our unique attributes in perspective. It can help us learn how others deal with similar challenges and what ideas and approaches worked for them.

It's just one more tool in the toolbox of growth and awareness and who doesn't love that?

What do y'all think about personality test? Anyone want to share their Enneagram or Strengths!?!