Several months ago, my friend Jessica started raving about float tanks. Jessica - like me raves about all her new discoveries - and she's usually right (ESPECIALLY about Christmas prep). She began describing a sensory deprivation tank filled with 10 inches of body-temperature water and 1000 pounds of salt. You float in the pure dark with no sound for an hour or so. She described as rejuvenating and relaxing.
Y'all. I've fallen down a personality test rabbit hole.
I'm currently working my way through Tsh Oxenreider's Upstream Field Guide. It's an eight-week self-paced course to help you better understand yourself, unearth more of your purpose, then use your wisdom to make a plan so that your life makes more sense.
I'm REALLY enjoying it. (Side note: The course is currently 50% off as part of this super awesome Ultimate Bundle.)
Dear 15-year-old Sarah,
First of all, let's talk about your hair. It's glorious! You will not appreciate that hair until it starts falling out in chunks after your first baby but dang it's so thick and SHINY. You won't have it that long again so enjoy it. You should also enjoy that beautiful complexion, which you falsely believe to have acne.
You don't know acne, girl.
Little known fact about me. I want to write a book. I want to write a book so badly. The problem is I. am. terrified. by the prospect. There is a voice in my head that yells so loudly when I think about writing a book. That voice tells me I have no idea how to write a book. That voice tells me I have no idea worth writing a book about. This voice tells me no one will read it.
I am trying desperately to quiet that voice. The only way to write a book is to start writing. Last year, I tried writing every day with a dear friend and one challenge we gave ourselves was writing an adventure tale.
This is my tale. I hope by sharing it - by just putting my words OUT THERE - I'll realize that starting is the hardest part ... but not as scary as the voice makes it seem.
So, here you go. My adventure tale.
My time off is being extended as I fly to be with one of these women during a difficult time. I thought this was a good time to repost this ode to girlfriends I wrote on Salt + Nectar a few years.
I used to bristle when people would deride women for being overly emotional. "Girls are so much drama!" they would say. I have friends both men and women who claim to avoid female friendship because the relationships inevitably lead to conflict.
I always thought these ideas reeked of gender stereotypes and sexist assumptions. After all, I think we've all met a moody male or two and Lord knows men have conflicts all their own. If they are more likely to end in a fist fight than tears, well who's to say one is better than the other. (See two can play at this gender stereotype game!)
Well, I'm sad to say I think these people might have been right. Girls are drama.
Recently, I engaged in a little girlfriend drama of my own. One girlfriend simply decided she didn't want to be friends anymore. Another was angry at me for some hurtful things I'd said to her and carried the anger around for months. One friendship was salvageable. One was not. Both situations left me hurt, a little angry, and more than a little gun shy when it comes to my current relationships.
After all, is it worth it? I had spent a lot of time with both these woman. I had shared stories and stresses. I had made them a part of my life and I had made myself vulnerable. In return, I felt like all I got was criticism and rejection.
And if these were my only experiences with female friendship I would say no. Thankfully, they are not. To say I have great girlfriends is sort of like saying I like Oprah - doesn't quite do it justice. Annie, Elizabeth, Laura, Erin, Shannon... These women are my sisters. On the most basic level, I am not me without them. They make me laugh. They make me think. They make me feel better when all I want to feel is sad. My daily prayer is that I give back even half of what they give me.
Have I had drama with these women? Hells yeah. Elizabeth, Erin, and I lived together...in college. Need I say more? We've had our conflicts but the drama didn't consume us. If anything, it made our friendships stronger. And I am so, so happy that I never let a few negative experiences prevent me from opening myself up again.
We all know deep down that all relationships contain drama because they contain people. And people (not just women) are drama. There are so many relationships in our lives that are mandatory - relationships with our spouses, our children, even our coworkers. We HAVE to work through that drama. We don't have a choice. So, maybe it's tempting to cut out relationships that seem optional.
However, I'm here to say. For me, friendship - specifically friendship with other women - is not optional. The phonecalls and gchats and coffee dates with my girlfriends get me through and make me better. I simply could not live without them.
So, bring on the drama. I can handle it - as long as I've got my girls by my side.
- It feels good to be wanted. Since I can remember, my mother has always told me she wanted “a red-headed little girl named Sarah.”
- The unconditional love of grandparents can make an ordinary childhood feel extraordinary.