This weekend I finished the audio version of Brené Brown's new book Rising Strong.
Y'all. This book broke my brain.
If you are unfamiliar with Brené's work, stop what you are doing and watch this Ted Talk.
Being my own boss
Book + Friend Bundling
These two guys were my first book club guinea pigs.
I'm on Modern Mrs. Darcy - one of my FAVORITE blogs - talking about my new favorite way to connect with friends and family.
I love to read, but realized I was only finishing one or two books a month. I love connecting with friends and family, but realized recently I was going months without talking to the most important people in my life.
Then, I discovered “temptation bundling.” “Temptation bundling” is linking together two activities — one you should do but maybe avoid or have trouble making time for; and one you love to do but can be easily forgotten among more urgent tasks.
What if I combined my goal of reading more with connecting with family and friends?
5 Lessons from The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up
Several months ago, my dear friend Annie texted me pictures of her neatly organized drawers and told me to stop what I was doing and read Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing.
When Annie says, “Read this book. Do it now.” I do it.
I have been battling with my stuff for a long time. A few years back I announced a massive project in which I was going to declutter and inventory my entire house. Never happened. I tried going room by room and intensely declutter. Never happened.
I would walk around my house and feel like the piles of stuff were mocking me. I would spend weekends purging and organizing but never feeling like I got anywhere.
I was exactly what I didn’t want to be. I was a stuff manager.
The problem was I thought I already knew everything there was to know about organizing. What could Marie Kondo possibly teach me?
Turns out. A LOT.
My word for 2015
Every year I chose a word that represents something I want to work on for the upcoming year. It could be something I want more of in my life. It could be something I want to focus on in specific areas of my life. Either way - in addition to resolutions - I like to pick a word as a guiding concept to keep me centered all year long.
I've been picking a word for three years now. In 2013, my word was simplicity. In 2014, my word was growth. I've felt the power of having a word - especially this last year.
Unfortunately, I was having a lot of trouble picking a word this year.
What Worked for Me in 2014
I LOVE this last little bit of time as the old year ends and the new year is about to begin. I love reflecting on a completed year and planning for an upcoming year. I basically complete every year-end reflection I come across and had just finished this personal audit from Unclutterer when I saw one of my favorites Modern Mrs. Darcy shared her similar reflections on what worked well for her in 2014.
So, here you go...
What worked for me in 2014?
"The Perfect Mother" and Self-Compassion
I would never have described myself as a perfectionist. My house is frequently cluttered. My desk is covered with projects and reminders and stray papers. My kitchen floor is filthy.
For the longest time, my desktop was giant colorful graphic proclaiming "DONE IS BETTER PERFECT." That creed is not empty words to me. I believe it. I don't let perfection slow down my desire to complete a project. Perfectionism is paralyzing, as I would often lecture other people.
No, I was not a perfectionist.
Except...
I've recently realized that perfectionism is a deep, deep river that flows far beneath my attitude towards my house's cleanliness or craft projects. Just because I'll publish a blog post with typos or slap together class treats that are far from Pinterest-worthy doesn't mean that perfectionism doesn't affect me.
The perfectionism that haunts me is far more insidious and harmful.
The Truth That Changed My Marriage
Nicholas and I have been married for eleven years. We work hard. We have two small children. We recently lost a baby. In theory, these should be tough times for our marriage, but they have been just the opposite.
These past two years have been our happiest and most fulfilling as a couple.
My husband is still the man he has always been. He is attentive and caring and intelligent, but he didn’t magically stop doing all the things that annoy me (leaving his shoes around the house, paying too much attention to his iPhone, giggling to his favorite podcasts, this is not a comprehensive list). We still fight and he still hurts my feelings from time to time.
No, Nicholas didn’t change. I did.
