"How's the campaign going?"
It's the question I get most often. It's also the question I'm never quite sure how to answer.
Good? ... Great! ... Your guess is as good as mine. ... We'll see May 17th!
The truth - I suppose - all depends on what you're measuring.
This weekend we hosted a Winter ONE-derland party in honor of Felix's first birthday. Considering this child was born during a snow, it seemed like an appropriate theme. Well, the weather had other plans and it was 70 and sunny! I could have hosted the dang party outside!
For my 30th birthday, I created a list of 30 things I wanted to do. One was to write a historical fiction short story. This is the story and as Ruby keeps calling to me here lately. I thought I'd share it here.
One of Nicholas's New Year's resolutions was to try freezer meals. He'd prepped meals for the week on and off through 2015 and wanted to see how it would work to prepare an entire month's worth. Then, we could just pull a meal from the deep freeze, throw it in the crockpot, and on a busy day dinner would be waiting for us.
One of Nicholas's New Year's resolutions was to try freezer meals. He'd prepped meals for the week on and off through 2015 and wanted to see how it would work to prepare an entire month's worth. Then, we could just pull a meal from the deep freeze, throw it in the crockpot, and on a busy day dinner would be waiting for us.
A while back I asked y'all if there were any subjects you'd like me to tackle. I got so many great responses but there was a common thread among many of the answers.
How do I talk to my kids about race? How do I talk to my kids about different abilities? How do I talk to my kids about sexual identity? How do I talk to my kids about gay people?
I've talked kids and race before. I've shared how my mom talked to me about sex and how I now talk to my kids about sex. I've also tackled other tough subjects like death.
And if you want all MANNER of wisdom on interacting and helping your child interact with someone different than them, you really need to go hang out on Annie's blog for a while.
The more I thought about it. The more I realized people weren't just talking about specific subjects. They were asking about something more general.
How do I talk to my kids about hard things?
Look, I'm not a psychiatrist. I'm not an expert on child development. Half the internet is dedicated to parenting advice and half of that is dedicated to advice on how to talk to your kids about difficult things such as death and sexuality.
So, I'm not going to give advice. I don't think that's what you're asking for anyway. I think what you're asking is - what's it like to talk to your kids about death? how does it feel to answer your kids' questions about sex? how do I know I'm not screwing it up?
That I can speak to.
Tackling tough subjects with your kids is as hard as you think it is and easier at the same time. We try to keep the world so black and white for our kids. We try to make things simple and understandable. Hitting is bad. Sharing is good. When they get old enough to understand harder subjects, it feels a bit like we've sold them a bill of goods. They look up at you with their wide eyes and their "What do you mean bad things happen?" face and you feel like a fraud.
Or, at least, I did.
It's hard to be vulnerable with your kids. It's hard to acknowledge you don't have all the answers and you never did. The first time Griffin asked me about death I wanted so desperately to assure him nothing was ever going to happen to me and I was going to live a long time. But that is not true and it would dishonor those I have lost if I pretended it was.
It's hard to say, "I don't know" - to anyone much less your own child.
Say "I don't know" anyway.
Vulnerability really is the only way. Every time I've tackled a tough subject with my kids I realize how much my own opinions and ideas are tied up in how I feel about a subject I thought was universal. It's hard sorting out my own perspective so that my children have the chance to form their own.
But by exposing ourselves and our insecurities to our kids, we're teaching them something so much bigger than lessons about death or identity.
We're showing up. We're saying, "It's more important to me that I'm honest with you then that you believe I have all the answers."
We're saying, "I'm here for your tough questions." We're showing our kids that being present through the tough stuff is all we can really offer those we love.
Know you'll get some stuff wrong. I've had to back up on things I've told Griffin about race and about sexuality. I've had to say, "You know I told you this but I thought more about it and I think I was wrong. What I really meant was..."
And that's a good thing in a way. I'm showing my kids that they don't come to me for answers. They come to me for conversations and those conversations get easier. Nothing is as bad as we anticipate it to be and that's what I mean by these talks being hard and easy at the same time. Once you've taken a breath and just started, the current carries you along and you realize you and your child are staying afloat together.
I want to have conversations with my kids - about tough subjects - about ANY subjects. I want them to trust I'll be honest. I want them to know I'll get things wrong but that I'm doing the best they can.
I want them to know hard things are hard but that the hardest things offer opportunities for growth and insight and connection.
So, in case you missed it...
Today I'm excited to announce my candidacy for Paducah City Commission! This town is ready for the next generation of...
Posted by Sarah Stewart Holland on Monday, January 25, 2016
I had a big day yesterday! I filed to run for Paducah City Commission and announced my candidacy on Facebook. I was so overwhelmed by all the support I received and I wanted to make sure and share this big next step with all of you.
I've thought a lot about this blog (and Pantsuit Politics) as I got close to announcing my candidacy. The traditional advice is to clean up your Facebook and other social media platforms. Remove offensive posts. Take down anything that could anger a voter. When I recently wrote this post, many of my friends who knew I was considering a run for office questioned my timing... and maybe my judgment.
But here's the thing.
I've lived my life online since 2011. I've written a lot about a lot of things from parenting philosophies to politics to religion to my marriage. I couldn't take it all down even if I wanted to and - the truth is - I don't want to.
I want to be a politician. I suppose I already am. But that's not ALL I am. I'm also a mother with thoughts on sleep-training and a wife with thoughts on therapy and a citizen with thoughts on gun control and a church goer with thoughts on faith.
I am all those things and the sooner we allow politicians to be complex people with complex beliefs the better off we all will be.
So, the answer to how my candidacy will affect this blog is - it won't, except hopefully it will teach me all kinds of lessons I can share. I'm still going to come here and be honest and be vulnerable. I'm still going to go on Pantsuit Politics and be "Sarah Holland from the left."
If something I say means someone won't vote for me, then so be it.
Come November 7th I hope to be Paducah's next City Commissioner, but it will be a shallow victory if I don't recognize the person I became to get there.
I'm counting on all of you to keep me honest and to keep me real. Win or lose it's going to be a heck of a journey!
If you want to get involved with my campaign or make a donation, check out my campaign website!
I hate taking the Christmas decorations down. Not only because it's a tedious task, but also when it's over everything feels so plain. At first, it's not so bad because everything is fresh and clean for New Year's... but then January and February and all the cold, gray days they bring seem to stretch in front of me and I miss the twinkling lights and magic Christmastime brings.
Dolly Parton is a badass and today she turns 70 years old.
I've loved Dolly for a long, long time. It started with her completely charming and totally endearing portrayal of Truvy in Steel Magnolias - one of my top 5 favorite movies of all time. In fact, I really fell in love with Dolly the actress before I fell in love with Dolly the musician.
I recently found some old imported Google Notebooks. When I was pregnant with Griffin, I used one of these notebooks to organize the baby products I wanted for my baby registry.
Wait, that’s a lie.
I used one of these notebooks to organize my desired baby products before I was pregnant with Griffin. That’s right. I had everything picked out for my registry before I was even pregnant. Yes, it is very, very sad. Yes, my obsession with baby products knows no end. Yes, I’m the person you go to if you are setting up your own registry.
However, did I actually use any of these products? Heck, no!
Several years ago, before Griffin was a twinkle in my eye, I stumbled across an interview with Stefan Shepherd on NPR. Shepherd writes Zooglobble, a blog dedicated to reviewing and sharing the newest children’s music. When asked by the host why kids couldn’t just listen to The Beatles or Rihanna or whatever their parents were listening to, Shepherd explained he thought it was important that his daughter listen to music that explored subjects and issues she understood. He didn’t want her only listening to songs about romantic love (the primary subject of most pop music) or other adult subjects any more than he wanted her only reading Jane Austen or Michael Chabon.
