My Ever-Changing Living Room
I just redesigned my living room…for the fifth time…in four years.
On the same day, I switched around furniture in Griffin’s room, Amos’s room, and my den. Oh, I also just completely redid my bedroom.
I can’t help myself. I am a creature of change. In many ways I’m still the little girl who would rearrange the furniture in Barbie’s dream house three times before lunch.
For some people, a living space is static. My mother is like that. She tackles a major renovation every ten years but then that’s that. Everything stays the same until another decade passes. I think my constant redos and updates stress her out but I can’t help it.
Some of the change is because our family is constantly changing and our living space must reflect that. I needed space for a baby swing. Now, I need space for coloring. I needed a nursery. Now, I need a big boys’ room. Hopefully, I’ll need a nursery again before it’s all over and then there will be more change.
The living room redo came about because I wanted a space to truly escape from my work. My desk is in the middle of our den and kitchen so if we spend all evening in the den I feel like I never escape work. In fact, I sometimes spend all evening at my desk. Now, with the addition of some of our more casual furniture, the living room has become a place to relax at the end of the day.
The best part is my “new” living room cost me zero dollars. When I say I renovate rooms, I’m not talking about custom drapery or new furniture. I’m talking about using what I already have and a lot of creative energy. My “new” living room contains a free couch a friend was getting rid of, a chair passed down from my mom, a new chair that was a gift from a friend, and a family heirloom. Two of my girlfriends came over one rainy Friday and we re-arranged and re-arranged and re-arranged until the room finally made sense.
I absolutely love it… for now.
Is your home constantly changing? Or do you like things to stay the same?
A Glamourous Master Bedroom
When we moved in four years ago, my focus was on the nursery. I was seven months pregnant with my first child and I wanted to create the perfect space for him. So, I poured all my time and energy into his room. Slowly, I moved my attention to the other rooms in our home. I redid our den and designed another nursery.
I wouldn't say our bedroom was an after thought but it certainly wasn't high on my list and my lack of effort shows.
When my dear friend (and genius) Sara Falder of Flower + Furbish began helping me redesign my space, I knew the bedroom is where I wanted to start. Over a week (the week before my renewal!!!), we transformed the blah space you see above into a glamourous retreat!
Six Word Memoirs
Six word memoirs are exactly what they sound like. Your memoir in six words. I've always loved the concept but was too intimidated to ever try and write one.
Enter The Six-Word Festival on Twitter.
Suddenly, there were prompts! And a schedule! And a deadline! And free stuff!
If you know me at all, you know these are my trigers. So, when the festival kicked off on Tuesday, I decided to join in.
First up? “I Will Never Do That Again” ... easy.
5 Apps That I Can't Live Without
I use my iPhone for everything. EVERYTHING. I don’t just use it to text or check Facebook or take pictures. I use it to stay organized in basically every area of my life from work to parenting to home organization.
At least once a day, I tell someone about an app I love and what it does. Usually, I am met with shock that they didn’t know this perfect app existed and excitement over what it could do for them.
Then I have to spell said app about five times as they download it on the spot.
I know it seems like technology often makes our lives more complicated but, in my experience, if you can stop being intimidated and stay confident through a learning curve, these apps can make your life much, much easier.
This is my digital brain. Every note, every article, every blog post idea, every school calendar, every event plan, every vacation itinerary. It ALL goes here.
In fact, Evernote is really MUCH more than an app. There is an online version, a desktop version, an iPad app, and iPhone app. They all sync, which means all the information we gather on a daily basis is available to us where ever we are.
Amazing.
Now, you cannot be intimidated. This is a powerful program but it can do as much or as little as you want. All you have to do is start using it! Here’s an a great article to give you an idea of what it can do.
How often as a mom do you think “I need to write this down!”? If you’re like me, a lot. A funny quote, a silly dance, a great question. Kids are full of those little moments we all want to capture.
Now… how often do you actually record those moments?
For a long time, I would post them to Facebook or in a random notebook or in my journal. Then, I realized I would have no way of actually keeping all these digital and analog snippets of my children’s childhood.
Then, I found Moment Garden. Now, all those little moments are in one – secure – place. I can email a moment. Upload a Facebook status or a photo. Each boy has their own “garden” and members of my family get email alerts when I post.
I absolutely love it.
Shared grocery lists, people! Meaning I notice we’ve run out of eggs and my husband knows this when we stops at the store on his way home!!
Do I REALLY need to say anything else?!?
UPDATE: Sadly, Twist is defunct but WAZE has this capability now!
Listen, kids make you run late. It’s just the reality. They are slow. They can’t tie their own shoes. They’re lollygaggers is what I’m trying to say.
Add in traffic of any kind and you’ve got a situation.
Twist is a fantastic app that let’s people know you are on your way. Meeting a play group? Send a twist to the group – don’t worry they don’t need the app! – and Twist will track your GPS and give them updates about when you will arrive.
I love it for when we travel. My mom ALWAYS wants us to text her when we arrive and I ALWAYS forget. Now, I just send twists to all our parents and move on!
Some apps keep your organized. Some apps keep you sane.
Let Ira Glass save your from toddler conversation and entertain, educate, and enlighten you in the process.
BONUS: Not every mom needs this app, but if you are a blogger or work in social media then sign up for Buffer and let it change. your. life. I am obsessed!
A Day At The Farm
Griffin's pre-k class has been "studying" farms. Since I LOVE a field trip, I arranged for us to visit my dear friend Ellie's family dairy farm LeCows Dairy. Ellie is a third-generation farmer (and raising a fourth generation!) with such an infectious passion for farming and farm life. We learned so much from her about what it takes to get the food we enjoy to our tables.
It was the most amazingly beautiful day and we saw baby cows, spunky goats, self-confident chickens, dogs, ducks, geese. You name it we saw it.
We had so much fun I was entertaining grand visions of my own family moving to a farm...at which point Amos took a swim in the chicken trough and I was reminded of why I live in a subdivision.
We still had a fabulous time and have plans to return for a picnic soon!
4 Lessons I’ve Learned As A Work-At-Home Mom
I never planned on being a work-at-home mom.
In 2009, I left my job as a legislative aide on Capitol Hill to move back to my hometown of Paducah, Kentucky, and raise a family (and somehow convinced my husband to go with me). I was seven months pregnant with my first son and assumed I would return to work after he was born. Since I had a law degree and the accompanying debt to pay off, the next logical step was to take the bar exam, which I did…when my son was two months old.
Now, if you have any experience with the bar exam and are good at math, you know I started studying when he was only about a week old. Since studying for the bar exam is a full time job, thus began my career as a work-at-home mom. I would spend hours on the couch with my son propped up on a breastfeeding pillow as I learned the rules of evidence.
Despite the Boppy’s contributions, caring for a newborn and studying for the bar exam were not exactly complimentary tasks and I failed the exam. This was my first lesson as a work-at-home mom. Know your limits. Sure, I passed the most difficult portion of the exam (just sayin’) but a few points shy is still a few points shy. Everyone told me I was taking on too much but I didn’t listen.
As a WAHM, it can feel like everything is within your control. There’s no clocking in or clocking out, no managers, and it’s tempting to squeeze in more tasks, more work, more clients. However, I have had to learn over and over again that just because I can doesn’t mean I should. In fact, if I ever get a tattoo, that’s what it will say.
I wonder now what would have happened if I’d passed. Would I have begun looking for jobs immediately? Would I have found a full time legal gig? I’m not sure. I knew I wanted to be home with my son but couldn’t imagine how I could make that happen.
Instead, I took a couple of months off before taking the exam again in February. Those months were the only time when being a mom was my only job. While I remember those times with my son fondly, I needed more. I was dragging a six month old who could barely sit up to music lessons and spending inordinate amounts of time on planning his first birthday just so I had something – anything – to do.
Hence, my second lesson as a work-at-home mom. Don’t feel guilty about wanting to work. Being home with your kids is an incredible gift, but if it’s not enough for you that’s ok. In the beginning, I felt tremendous guilt about wanting to work. Wasn’t this what I wanted? I knew I didn’t want to be away from him so why was being with him ALL the time so hard? Finally I learned that I’m happier when I have somewhere to channel my energy and money to contribute to the family. And despite all media messages to the contrary, my happiness matters.
By the time the second bar exam rolled around, I had stumbled into a part-time teaching gig at our local community college. I got to leave the house a couple hours a week but could do all the prep work required for my course from home, usually during naptime. In the beginning, my grandmother would watch my son while I taught but eventually I discovered Mommy’s Day Out.
Mommy’s Day Out is part-time daycare provided by local churches in our area. My kids go from 9am to 2pm on Tuesday and Thursdays for $15 a day per child. This was my third lesson as a work-at-home mom. Mine your resources.I know Mommy’s Day Out isn’t an option everywhere. To this I say, MOVE! (Kidding…sort of.)
Neither of my kids are in school yet so I have used all manner of childcare over the past few years. My kids go to Mommy’s Day Out. My kids go to preschool. I trade childcare with other SAHMs or WAHMs. My husband takes the boys to lunch while I go to a meeting or I ask for help from family members with flexible schedules. I’ve done it all in search of the holy grail of the WAHM – child-free time.
My teaching gig allowed me enough time and space to put off finding a full-time job until after the birth of my second son. By then, I had co-founded Salt & Nectar with a former law school classmate who was also looking for a career that allowed her the flexibility to be home with her son. As my family grew so did the blog and before I knew it I had a whole new career in social media.
I still teach and my friends and family always jokingly ask how many jobs I currently have. I’ve added social media consulting, web design, and my new personal blog bluegrass redhead to the mix – as well as volunteering for local charities.
I currently work anywhere from 10-20 hours a week. With both of my boys in preschool and becoming increasingly independent, I’ve found a great balance between work and play.
Which is why I’ve decided to try for baby #3!
I know! I’m crazy right? But this is the fourth and final lesson I’ve learned as a work-at-home mom. Time expands when it is work you love. I’ve always heard people explain that your heart expands when you add another child to your family. You think you can’t love the second one as much as you love your firstborn but you do. Your capacity to love and care and embrace grows right along with your family.
I think the same is true of work. I LOVE what I do. I love sharing my stories and connecting with people. I love making people smile or making people think ormaking someone’s life a little bit easier. Because I love my work so much, I find the time to do it. I stay up late or get up early or type out a post on the playground.
I don’t do it all perfectly. Sometimes I miss out on a project I really wanted. Sometimes my kids watch the iPad more than they should. Sometimes I feel overworked, overwhelmed, and over tired but that’s ok.
Because as a work-at-home mom – as a human being – I’m not looking for a perfect life, I’m just looking for a happy one.
This post originally appeared on The Happiest Home.
To post or not to post? That is the question.
Last week, an article began to circulate among my online social circle. First, a friend emailed me the link asking for my opinion. Then, another friend tagged me on Facebook and wanted to know my reaction.
Titled simply, “We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online", the article was written by Amy Webb, a data columnist for Slate Magazine. In the piece, Webb parent-shames an acquaintance who posts photos of her young daughter online. Webb then goes on to outline how she protects her own daughter’s digital future by creating a “digital trust fund” with protected social media accounts she and her husband will pass over the passwords to when their daughter is mature and by refusing to post anything about their daughter online.
Considering I post photos of my children almost daily and write openly about my children online, I think it will come as no surprise that I disagree with Webb.
